what am i now?? an unknown person in this house? nobody been updating me with anything. anything, everything. i mean it. what am i now? a GHOST? i just got home and found out, SUNDAY @ 4pm, there's kenduri for my late dad. not that i didn't remember at all. WELL, I DID! SORRY BROTHER, I DID for goodness sake. just that i was so busy with the trainings till i didn't get enough of my own admin time. till my mind blank and even fall sick. F.Y.I, i've told everyone in this house that i'm having FIELD CAMP this coming 19th. and definitely on the 18th i have to book in, no matter what if MONDAY is a public holiday. and again f.y.i, i'm booking in @ around 6pm and i have to get out an hour plus from the house. i hate to RUSH, I SERIOUSLY HATE TO RUSH!!
why didn't they make an effort to even remember what i've told them? why didn't they make an effort to tell me EALIER?? why didn't they make an effort to text me if i'm uncontactable?? not a big deal i know but HEY! its Kenduri for my DAD. MY DAD. and i wasn't aware of it.? not a single person in this house tells me.
Since young, Since young.. i had this feelings. i'm just sad. can't even hold the tears from coming out of my eyes. of course i won't RUN away, or COMMIT SUICIDE. no i'm not. i'm just sad. sorry mum, i had to do this. i'm just gonna live on my own now. thanks to DAD for teaching me how to be independent. THANKS DAD.
i just hate this feeling.
