On the way, mum sms-ed me Dad's coming home tonight at 7pm. thank god hes home now. BUT he's still unfit and unwell. still weak i should say. Doctor recommended him to take chemotherapy. well, dad passed it on to us to decide whether he should take it or not. well, i'm not so sure about it. from what i know, it saddens me the most if he were to take chemotherapy. my family too. happened within family. lost of lives. i don't want my dad to suffer that. frankly to say that my dad not strong enough to take chemotherapy. but my family have other ways for him to get treatment. we try our best for him.
he's been thinking loads. about continuing teaching religious classes to people who really enthusiastically wanted to study about our religion. also about this chinese muslim student who studied under my dad's guidance. regard my dad as his step-father. asking my dad to be his on his side during his wedding day this coming november. dad don't want him to lose hope. so am i. he's like another brother to me. wait, i can't believe i'm on the verge to cry. k shushhhh. continue.. dad also been thinking alot on this. he's so worried about our family tradition. whereby we will gather together at any of our houses. to pray and to have what we called "Kenduri Arwah". usually he's the one who step up and lead us with everything and either me or my 2nd brother will be by his side supporting him. he's been thinking if he's gone, who else will take the lead. and if he's gone, who will remember the day to gather everyone and remember those who had left us for good. dad cried whenever he remind us about this. i cried too. in fact i am right now.
i failed him. eversince i have Qattam the Qur'an, i've only touch few days a month. only memorising few Surrah in the Qur'an. brought those Surrahs for my prayers. always the same surrah i've brought during prayers. dad and mum reminded me always after i lead them for Solat Jemaah. try on, bring on different surrah. bring on those lovely words from the Qur'an. memorise other surrah. in fact i did try afew else. but i couldn't. mainly because i was too busy on this world. not focusing much onto all this. i failed. i failed you dad. i'm sorry. i'll try my best to be by your side and do what you always wanted me to do and to be. i realised now i'm walking on an uneven route of life. this is not what you want dad. i know. i'm trying dad. i really do. Allah have open up my heart now. a chance to change for the better. Insyaallah. Alhamdulillah. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.
Bismillah hirrahma nirrahim.
Ya Allah, Ku mohon padamu ya allah. Ku mohon padamu kuatkan lah kekuatan ayahku. berikanlah semangat yang kental. selamatkan ayahku dari segala cobaan-cobaan yang dihapdapi oleh ayahku, subahannallah. maafkan dosa-dosa ku terhadap ayahku ya allah.
amin ya rabbal alamin.
Ya Allah, Ku mohon padamu ya allah. Ku mohon padamu kuatkan lah kekuatan ayahku. berikanlah semangat yang kental. selamatkan ayahku dari segala cobaan-cobaan yang dihapdapi oleh ayahku, subahannallah. maafkan dosa-dosa ku terhadap ayahku ya allah.
amin ya rabbal alamin.
sorry people. i'm still strong here. i will as always. with my dad kinda situation right now, suddenly a ray of light flashed right infront of me, making me realised that what i've done so far till now really failed my dad and definitely to myself too. its never too late to change. never give up i know. i will not. i'm big and strong. don't worry about me much. i know some of you want to help somehow but hey, thanks alot. i appreciate it but i just need you guys to pray for my dad to be strong. that's all i need, my friends. Thanks.
Thanks dad for guiding me all the way throughout my troublesome route till now. taught me loads. you helped me Qattam the holy book, Qur'an. and i will Qattam once again on my own just for you dad. Insyaallah. Alhamdulillah dad, i have such a wonderful life, trouble abit here and there but seriously dad. alhamdulillah i have what i always wanted dad. stop thinking too much and don't worry. Firli together with Ibu, Abang Faisal and Abang Fahmi will be by your side and support you. Insyaallah you'll get better dad. Hang on, love you dad.
have i said dad's home? yes he's home.
2nd Brother having Graduation day on Thursday at NTU. passed and achieved 2nd class Honors. Congrats to you brother!
my turn.? insyaallah. doakan lah. Amin.
till here. goodnight
signing out . .
